


Sick

by WiltingGirl



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, M/M, Painful Sex, Sexual Content, So much angst, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-05-01 01:03:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5186288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WiltingGirl/pseuds/WiltingGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What they did wasn't sex at all, it was fucking. Ichigo blamed his unrequited love for the arrancar on being a stupid hormonal teenager. He wanted to kill him for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sick

Ichigo recalled the moment over and over again in his head. He sneered at the word sex, because what they did wasn’t sex at all. It could only be classified as fucking. 

The first time he and Grimmjow had done it. It wasn’t planned, not at all. They both just happened to be horny from a good battle. Ichigo didn’t even think twice when Grimmjow had pushed him on his hands and knees. He hadn’t expected his first time to leave him with road rash on his palms and knees, but then again he never thought he’d even get the chance to lose his virginity. Now he wasn’t upset that he had gave his virginity to the arrancar, Ichigo was too far disconnected with leading a normal life to worry about stupid shit like virginity. 

The encounter was sweaty, intense, and painful. But Ichigo enjoyed it the whole time. Once he got home that night he stood in the shower, staring down at the teeth marks on his thighs. He remembered how his backside ached, and how both blood and semen ran down his legs and down the drain along with the water from the shower. He wasn’t surprised to see the blood. Ichigo had felt Grimmjow tear him. 

The second time had began just like the first had. Fighting then being pushed down. But this time it was on his back. He was surprised to see Grimmjow spit on his fingers and actually prepare him correctly. Ichigo had chalked that up to the fact that Grimmjow had took him dry the first time. It probably would feel better for Grimmjow if there was at least some type of lubrication. Ichigo didn’t like this though. Not because he was masochistic and wanted it to hurt more, but because it was too intimate. In the back of his head he tried to tell himself that the arrancar was simply trying to make things better for himself. When Grimmjow had kissed him though, that made him want to lean over and vomit.

And that’s exactly what Ichigo did when he got home that night. He vomited as he thought about the kiss. He didn’t mind being fucked, he liked that part. But he couldn’t handle Grimmjow kissing him. 

It had been like that for a while. The fucking was great but every time their mouths touched Ichigo felt sick. He was moping at home now more than usual. He himself wasn’t sure why. But one day Yuzu had made a comment, saying he looked lovesick. 

Ichigo had to run to the sink to spill the contents of his stomach.

He ran upstairs and punched the wall of his bedroom over and over until his knuckles bled. He was in love. He hated it, he fucking hated it.

Being in love with the arrancar didn’t hinder their battles though. If anything, it made Ichigo fight harder. He wanted to kill Grimmjow even more now for making him fall in love. And this time when Grimmjow went to touch him, Ichigo had punched him right in the face. They had a silent, unspoken agreement about fucking. No fighting was ever involved. But Ichigo had broken that rule and it baffled Grimmjow. He remembered the arrancar asking him if he just wasn’t in the mood that night. Ichigo had brushed it off, telling Grimmjow to just go ahead and fuck him. 

Grimmjow had stopped mid-thrust once he saw Ichigo’s knuckles. He made a comment on how they were already severely bruised and that Ichigo hadn’t punched him hard enough to cause that kind of bruising. Ichigo couldn’t shake the feeling that Grimmjow was showing he cared about him, but he knew he was wrong. He had told him to shut up and fuck him, and so Grimmjow did as he said. 

There was no kiss that night and Ichigo had been thankful. There was still an aching feeling in his chest that nagged him constantly whenever he thought about the arrancar, but he ignored it the best that he could.

But ignoring only lasted so long. Ichigo had to stoop to talking to Yuzu about, confiding in her. Of course he didn’t tell her the exact situation. He had just told her that he liked someone and he knew they didn’t feel the same. He was so angry with himself as his little sister told him it would be okay and that he should just try to move on. Ichigo couldn’t move on, he had to see the arrancar. Fighting or fucking, he had to see him. It wasn’t a choice, if Grimmjow showed up he had to fight because no one else was strong enough to do it. He cursed the other soul reapers, he was always stuck fighting off the stronger enemies. Didn’t they care that Ichigo needed a break? Before they were only pushing his body to the limit, now his heart felt like it was going to give out as well.

After fucking one night, Grimmjow decided to stick around for once. It had been particularly intense, so the arrancar needed to stay and regain some composure. Ichigo didn’t know why he even bothered asking, but he did. He remembered the stinging in his chest when Grimmjow had laughed at his question. Ichigo had asked him what he thought about love. He regretted the question as soon as it had left his mouth. Grimmjow’s laughing was the only answer Ichigo needed. Ichigo then told him that they couldn’t fuck anymore. Grimmjow seemed a little confused, but angry of course. Ichigo had stayed quiet in reply. But Grimmjow was able to piece two and two together. He laughed even harder this time. 

Ichigo could hardly stand to hear the taunts the arrancar spat at him. He was making fun of Ichigo for having feelings for him. Ichigo stood up and punched him again like the other night. The odd thing was that Grimmjow let him. Ichigo punched him over and over again until his fists started to burn and form bruises already. When Ichigo sank to his knees Grimmjow had asked if he was done or not. Ichigo nodded, fighting back tears. He wanted to punch himself now for crying. He was stronger than this. He has faced death so many times without even one tear threatening his eyes. So why this? Ichigo blamed it on his teenage hormones. He had to blame it on something. 

From then on their fights were normal, nothing taking place afterwards. But Ichigo could still see the smirks the arrancar gave him during battle. There was also the occasional verbal taunt. Then the physical ones. Grimmjow would be dodging an attack and once he was in the clear he would snake a hand around Ichigo’s hip. Ichigo had almost cut that hand off, if only he had been a millisecond faster.

He just told himself the feeling would go away with time.


End file.
